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Hormone Horrors

YI!

- I wanted a quiet date night at home and suggested we play a board game. I pulled out Risk because I like it (and it's the Dr Who addition which makes me like it more). Anyway the two of us start playing and I swear hubby cursed the dice because he kept rolling 6s and was wiping me off the board. so usually I'm pretty level headed playing board games but for some reason this was too much and I burst into tears and accused him of cheating and picking on me and not playing fair etc. It took him 30 minutes of holding me for me to calm down (he thought the whole thing was funny and laughed which also didn't help). 
- My sister told me I was the last person she wanted to die with because we almost got hit by another car on our way to the mall. I started crying and screaming "so you would rather die with..." and started naming horrible people. She busted out laughing at me and I lost it. I cried for 10 minutes and then ended up puking.
- I went and paid for a deluxe pedicure and was so in love with my toes. Two days later one of my toenails chipped pretty badly, I cried for a good 20 minutes. My boyfriend tried comforting me saying that we could fix it with the nail polish I already have... I cried I didn't have it. He said we could buy it...I cried that it was 10$. It was a very "dramatic" moment as you can tell.
- I cried because I dropped my donut while driving. It was not that serious, but I cried. LOL!
- My husband started a really good new job in April and we were both really excited about it. About a month ago, he was telling me that he didn't really like the job and that he wasn't very happy there yet. He just casually mentioned it because I asked how it was going. I then began to sob because I was so sad that he was unhappy and I cried for about a half hour telling him that I just wanted him to be happy.
- I'm usually pretty patient, but I was going to the mall food court on my lunch break and walked in at Forever 21. I saw these headbands for cheap, so I figured..why not. I go get in line and there is only 1 lady in front of me. As she's checking out, the lady at the register told her that something she was buying would qualify her for like 1/2 off another one or something, so the customer said she would go look around for something else. The employee stood there for over 3 minutes just waiting for the lady to come back. Never acknowledged me or anything...I'm giving her the major stink eye, but she won't look. After a couple more mins, I lost it and threw my headbands at her and the register and said something like "you're rude!" As I walked away I wanted to cry sooo bad and could not get over it. I was shaking! I end up walking all the way around the outside of the mall because I was too embarrassed to walk back through that store.
- My husband shaved his beard and left a mustache the morning we were leaving for vacation. He popped his head in the shower to show me. I said you're shaving it right? And he told me no, he was keeping for Vegas because it was funny. I full on belly cried for a good 5-10 minutes and couldn't even rinse my hair. He didn't know I had been crying. When I finally got it together and got out of the shower he had already shaved it off which made me start crying again while I told him what happened.

Slacker said that he does not think that men have the same hormone "cycle" as men, but they do have mood swings. Slacker said that more often than not, women who are on their cycle go off the deep end. Slacker mentioned the story about the couple sharing chinese food, and said that instead of eating it, the guy should have tried to sympathize with her. Slacker mentioned the woman who cried after fixing her meal and thinking about all the lonely people who have to eat microwave dinners. Slacker also related the story of the woman who killed a spider with boiling water and then felt story for it after it was boiled alive.

Steve said that he doesn't even know what hormones he has. Steve said that no matter what the guy did who was eating chinese food, he would lose. If he tries to help, he loses, and if does nothing he loses too. Slacker said that he isnt sure what is worse, the lonely people eating microwave dinners or the hormonal woman who cried about it. Steve said that he will talk in hushed tones during the entire 5 o'clock hour.

What is your craziest hormone horror story?

Intern Scott
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OPP: Speed Therapy

YI!

Yi guys! My husband and I don't know how to handle what I bet is a common social situation. There are two or three different couples we occasionally meet for dinner. While my hubby and I usually have a glass of wine at most when dining, our friends tend to be heavy drinkers and always order by the bottle. I swear more time is spent drinking than eating! When the bill comes, I literally cringe when I hear our dinner companions cheerfully scream, "Let's just split it down the middle". Uggh. It doesn't even cross their mind that we only ate food. We don't have the nerve to explain that we shouldn't have to pay for their bottles of wine and so in the past, we've always sucked it up and silently paid like the chumps we feel like at that moment. Lately, we've been making excuses not to get together so I was wondering what other people do in awkward situations like this?
Stephanie

Yi,
My boyfriend came home with a dog last night and I am so angry. He spent $500 on her and didn't ask me about it before he got it. He said he's wanted a dog for so long and he saw her and fell in love. He knows I hate dogs and I know that's why he didn't ask me. What do I do now? Can I make him get rid of the dog or am I stuck with this thing for the next 15 years?
Brooklyn

Slacker said sometimes we have a number of smaller OPPs instead of just one huge one. Slacker says that he usually just pays for the whole dinner with friends beause he likes to order lots of bottles. Splitting the bill takes the joy out of his experience so Slacker rarely goes out. Slacker also said he feels odd if one of the people in his dinner parts only has a side salad. Slacker would rather his dinner friends approach him the next day, instead of ruining the night. Slacker then called Steve and did a reinactment to show how to talk to dinner friends. Slacker said that they either have to break up or they have to find a new home for the dog. In a relationship, Slacker said that both people should make that decision, but that it is not the dogs fault at all.

Steve said when the check comes, how does he split the bill if he is out with friends who dont drink as much? Steve said maybe Slacker should just avoid going out with those friends. Steve also said it sounds petty, but that he is sure the situation is one that many people go through. For part two, Steve said that its unfair to both the couple and the dog to do something like that. Steve also said that many places don't let you return a pet, so the couple should have made the decision together.

How would you handle it if your significant other brought home a pet you didn't want or like? Also, how would you handle it if your friends constantly blew up the dinner tab?

Intern Scott
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Dumb Reason You Went to Jail

YI!

A McDonald's customer in Arkansas accused of emptying his cup of water and filling it with soda now faces a robbery charge, police said Tuesday. The restaurant manager said the suspect was one of three people who asked for water at the drive-thru window in Springdale. The customers parked and walked into the store before dumping out the water and pouring soda into the cups. The manager spotted the three and told them to return the soda. Only 18-year-old Cody Morris refused, police say. The manager even ran out and tried to block Morris' car from leaving, but the suspect reportedly drove his vehicle in reverse and hit the worker twice before speeding away. Police arrested the driver after they said they found his car at a nearby bowling alley. It's unclear whether he'll face any additional charges aside from felony robbery.

A Florida couple was being held without bond after allegedly attacking each other with tweezers Saturday morning. Sheriff’s deputies were called at about 10:30 a.m. Saturday to where Ian Michael Harvey, 35, and Janet Driggers, 33, had been involved in an altercation, according to a pair of arrest reports. Harvey had wanted to end their relationship, the reports indicated. Both Harvey and Driggers had suffered lacerations due to the aggressive use of tweezers. Both were arrested on felony charges of battery. Both Harvey and Driggers have previous battery convictions. Harvey was also arrested for violating his probation on a charge of possession of marijuana.

Police say a central Pennsylvania man who locked himself out of his house wound up locked up in jail once emergency responders realized he had unpaid court fines, reports the AP. The Altoona Mirror reports that after apparently misplacing his keys, 35-year-old Jeffrey Jones climbed onto the roof Sunday night while trying to get into his house through a window, but he had to call 911 when he got stuck. Altoona police say that's when they discovered Jones was wanted by the Blair County Sheriff's Office for failing to pay about $750 in court costs and fines. Court records show that Jones, who wasn't charged in connection with the roof climb, owes money in two active miscellaneous contempt cases. 

People just don't learn, do they? A woman who allegedly stole a high school student's iPhone in California has given police a break in the case thanks to … a selfie—or rather, several of them. Police say an as-yet unidentified woman approached the 15-year-old student in El Cerrito, demanding that she hand over her phone and backpack, reports the Los Angeles Times. When the girl refused, the suspect allegedly knocked her unconscious with a punch, took the student’s phone, dragged her a short distance, then took the girl's backpack, per the Oakland Tribune. The woman then escaped in a tan Honda or Toyota which was also carrying four males, authorities say. Days later, the student, who had to visit a hospital for treatment, found several smiling selfies of her alleged attacker on her iCloud account and sent them to police. "I don't think she knew it was being uploaded to the cloud. I think they were assuming it was on the factory default settings," an officer tells ABC7. Authorities have released three images of the woman—which show many more selfies were taken—and say tips are pouring in. 

A woman robber who held a knife towards a terrified university student and demanded cash made off with a bag of marshmallows. Sian Budski, 39, was jailed for 32 months after she admitted robbing a second-year student who was shopping in December. Prosecutor Richard Edwards said Budski was extremely aggressive towards police afterwards and had been tasered. The victim had bought two bags of marshmallows and was in the street when Budski grabbed her wrist. “The defendant told her to give her all her money,” Mr Edwards said.
Budski was brandishing a knife and, when the frightened victim said she only had a bag of sweets, the defendant grabbed them. Budski ran off, entered a shop and police arrived. The stun gun was used to detain her.

Slacker said that this segment was dreamt up by Lil D and if it fails, he is out of a job! Slacker said the guys should have been less conspicuous about filling the cup, but the manager should have let it go, its a few pennies of sugar water! Slacker also said that maybe when he is in jail he could get away with just saying that he was arrested for coke distribution! Slacker also said that the couple arrested for attacking eachother with tweezers can't tell people why they were arrested. Slacker said that if the reason you were arrested and jailed is for marshmellows, selfies or sodas, please call!

Steve said at the McDonalds he goes to, the soda machine isn't even close to the front so its easy to steal from it. Steve said that if he doesn't make up a story for why he is in jail, he will have a bad time in jail. Steve also said the guy who lost his keys is an idiot for calling the police when he already had a warrant for unpaid fines. 

I was arrested and booked for wearing a homemade T-shirt at a concert in college. I made the local newspaper and they dropped the charges! My Dad still brings it up at the holidays, though. 

What was the dumb reason you went to jail?

Intern Scott
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Driver's Ed Disasters

A student from the UK has passed his driving test at the first attempt, despite hitting a deer during the exam. Tom Lo, 17, was about 10 minutes into the test when the animal ran across a road right in front of his car. "I was picking up speed because it was a 60mph zone and all of a sudden I see a deer in front of me. So I hit my brake but unfortunately the deer was killed," he says. "I pulled over after the incident and my driving instructor had a look at the car and checked the deer. "He said there was nothing we could do and that it wasn't my fault, so I was told to continue my test." Amazingly, Tom passed the driving test with two minor faults. He's told Newsbeat he was shocked after the accident but managed to hold it together for the rest of the exam.

Slacker failed his in the driving test. His test wasn’t very hard. He is a great driver now.

Steve hasn’t been in an accident that was his fault. He went through 4 Audi’s in a year, but he is the victim.

Lil D had to get up to 60mph and pass people on a two lane highway.

What was your driver’s Ed disaster? 
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Made You Cry

A Facebook post about a man’s act of kindness at a Denny’s in Utah is going viral.
According to the Love What Matters Facebook page post, the man came into the restaurant and asked for a waitress who is a single mother. Over the next two hours, he paid for seven families’ bills, over $1,000. The story narrator says:  “I asked, ‘Why did you do that?’ You simply said, ‘Family is everything, I’ve lost all mine”.  “Looking into your eyes while you said that made me tear up (It’s why I walked away so quickly) as soon as I got in the back I broke down in tears because your eyes had so much pain in them. ”But the man’s kindness didn’t stop there. He tipped his waitress Crystal, who is a single mother, $1,500 on his $21.34 bill. Apparently Crystal and her son were living in a shelter, and now, thanks to the man’s tip, they will be able to afford a place of their own.
 
Slacker says Steve has cried before. He sobs all the time.
 
Steve said he didn’t cry he was misty eyed because he saw a guy who survived and got a rolex who had no clue what his watch was worth. He doesn’t think someone should take such a large tip. He isn’t very sentimental.
 
Lil’D said a guy found a suit case with cash and instead of keeping it, he turned it in. The town raised $5000 for him for turning in the cash and instead of taking it he donated it to the homeless shelter.
 
What made you cry?
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4p) OPP: Childish Husband

Carla’s husband is an over grown child and still acts like a frat boy. She says they were at a sophisticated party and he did a keg stand. He is 42 and got super high on 4/20. He goes on lunch meetings and drinks too much. She says he is known as the drunk guy. She is embarrassed. She says he has teenage angst and it has gotten progressively worse. He rides a skate board and acts like he is in his late teenage years.

Slacker says smoking on 4/20 is for 18 year olds. He thinks her husband needs to mature. He says he is a child at heart but knows his limits. 

Steve thinks it’s about Carla looking good in front of her friends. He thinks she should lighten up and let her husband keep living life. 

How should she get him to act his age?
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GMD: Using the Kid as a Weapon

Beth and Darren have been divorced for less than a year. They have a 7 year old named Luke. She signed him up for extra-curricular activities on nights when Darren would have Luke. Darren feels like he could be signed up other nights of the week, so he could have more time with Luke. Darren left Beth and he feels like she is getting back at him. Beth is saying Luke asked to do these things and told Darren to ask him. Darren is saying he doesn’t see him often enough to ask him. He thinks there are other activities he could be involved in, or at least other nights of the week. He doesn’t believe his son asked to take Spanish. He does stuff with him and wants to teach him every sport he wants to play because he is his father. Darren says it was never discussed with him that Beth was signing their son up for activities, that it was just an all of the sudden thing. She is saying she would never use her child to get back at him. She would be sad if Luke was doing those things on nights she has him but she wants him to do what he wants. Darren does get some time but he thinks they could work something out. 

Slacker would never sign over his parental rights. He sees Darren’s side because he would dig his heels in too. 

Steve doesn’t know who to agree with. 

Whose side are you on? 
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You Be the Judge

A New York man is suing his ex-fiancée because she ended their engagement but hasn't returned her $30,000 ring. The man says he proposed to his girlfriend, just 3 months after he met her at a bar.   The engagement ring featured a 2.52-carat diamond, surrounded by 34 rubies and another 55 smaller diamonds. The woman called off engagement months ago, but she has yet to return the flashy ring to her former fiancé. The guy’s court documents claim the woman is required by state law to return the ring to him. He wants a judge to force his ex to give him the ring-- or pay him the $30,000 it cost to make the ring.
 
Slacker thinks because she ended it then she gave up the right to have it. Since it’s an engagement ring and there is no engagement then it isn’t hers. His advice is to never propose to a girl on a holiday or birthday then it is a gift and then you are dumb.
 
Steve thinks because he gave it, then it is hers. Although he realizes it never goes that way.
 
Lil’D thinks it should be her ring because he is an idiot for buying a ring for a girl that he met 3 months ago in a bar.

You be the judge. Should she have to return the ring or is it hers now?
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Why I'm Going to Hell

If you want to become Public Enemy Number One on the Internet, there's no faster route than this.
22-year-old Madeleine Kaye of Gainesville, Florida allegedly stole a woman's KITTEN last week.  That's bad enough . . . you do NOT mess with people's pets in America. But then she sent a bunch of texts saying she wanted $20 to return it . . . or, quote, "something bad" would happen to the kitten.  Yes, she ransomed someone's kitten. So the woman called the cops.  But when they went to Madeleine's place, she said she HADN'T really stolen the kitten, and the texts were just a joke. But they arrested her for extortion anyway.  There's no word on whether the kitten was found.
 
Slacker says he has done nothing and is not going to hell.
 
Steve remembers they were at a party and they passed around a bucket and everybody had to yack into the bucket until someone threw up. He is probably going to hell.
 
What thing did you do that got you a one way ticket to hell? 
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OPP: I Want My Own Kids

Yi Slacker & Steve,
I am a childless stepmom with an enormous desire to be a mother. My husband has two kids and I love them, but he doesn't understand the emptiness I feel inside knowing I'll never have that biological bond of unconditional love with his kids. We have talked about trying to have a baby together, but my husband is skeptical. He thinks it would cause a bigger rift in my relationship with his kids, but I think it would give me something to share with the kids, as well as give me the biological bond of unconditional love I want so bad. Do you think a new addition to a blended family would cause more problems than it would solve?
April
 
Slacker knows people who come from a divorce and they have kids and when they got married to the other person they had a kid to blend the family. He thinks it makes everyone feel a part of the family. He thinks a bond is stronger with someone who carried the child. To him it’s a good idea but if he was in the same situation he would not want to have another child.
 
Steve says that they already have a good dynamic and it is what she signed up for, so she shouldn’t ruin the dynamic.
 
What’s your advice? 
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Ambien

41-year-old Kimberly Miller is a nun at a convent in Philadelphia.  And back on November 7th, she drove to New Jersey in the middle of the night, slammed her car through the window of an auto repair shop, and then drove away. Then a cop pulled her over, and found her blood-alcohol level was 0.16 . . . twice the legal limit.  So she was arrested for drunk driving and several other charges. Anyway, she was in court this week, and here's what she blamed it on.  She says she took an Ambien that night, then had a glass of wine.  And her lawyers say they must've interacted and made her go nuts . . . because she has NO memory of the entire night. No one wants to call a nun a liar . . . but the prosecutors say the Ambien story is pretty suspect.  She never mentioned it before, and she even told the cops about other meds she was taking . . . but never Ambien. A judge is going to rule on the case next week.  And she COULD be facing jail time.  But as a nun with a clean record, we're guessing she'll get probation and a fine.  
 
Slacker has tripped on Ambien once.

Steve doesn’t take Ambien because he can sleep.

What crazy thing did you do on Ambien?
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OPP: Let Him Cheat

YI!
Today's #OPP comes from Candy, she wrote a letter to us which you can read below.

Yi,
My husband came to me and said that he saw a story that said more couples today have infidelity contracts. He said that we don't have enough relations for him and he knows that I am not really interested in having any more than we already are. He suggested that we try an infidelity contract. Basically he would be able to cheat once a month. He's right that I'm not all that interested in more relations and I really do want him to be happy, but I don't know about letting him see other women. I guess I'm open to the idea but I still have some reservations. Are there any other couples out there that have done this? What are the pros and cons of letting your spouse sleep with other people?
Candy

Slacker said that women were almost bartering with their husbands over his infidelity with getting a new bathroom or new addition to the house. Slacker wondered what goes into the infidelity contract? Can it be with someone you know? slacker said that if he weer this guy he would barter for once a week, not once a month! Slacker said that if his wife let him sleep with other women, as long as she still related with him, he wouldn't feel hurt. Slacker also wondered would someone honor every tiny detail in the contract, because he would treat his infidelity contract like a software licensing agreement. Slacker said that most men need more sex than women, and that with women its more of an emotional interaction, so should these wives mandate that their men spend their infidelity with professionals?

Steve said that those contracts need to be very well written.  Steve also wanted to know, what if he breaks the contract by not following the rules? Steve wondered whether or not any of the listeners have actual infidelity contracts or if they just cheat old-school style. Steve also wondered if the guy would feel slighted if his woman let him go cheat. Steve thought that with women, emotions always get tricky.

I think cheating sucks, but then again maybe that's why I am not married!

How would you handle this situation if it was your partner who wanted to cheat?

Intern Scott
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Employee of the Month

YI!

Look around at work today at five of your coworkers.  And know this two of them are sitting there PRAYING you don't tell anyone how bad they are at their jobs. A new survey found 40% of people say they're not very good at some parts of their job, and they're really afraid of being caught. And that's not the only insecurity people have at work. 75% of people say they're LUCKY to have gotten their job two-thirds say sometimes feel totally overmatched and 40% use buzzwords they don't fully understand just to sound like they know what they're talking about. But in spite of all that we still want more money.  65% of people say their boss doesn't appreciate their value, and 35% are angry at how few raises they've gotten.

A man appears to have deleted his entire company with one mistaken piece of code. By accidentally telling his computer to delete everything in his servers, hosting provider Marco Marsala has seemingly removed all trace of his company and the websites that he looks after for his customers. Mr Marsala wrote on a forum for server experts called Server Fault that he was now stuck after having accidentally run destructive code on his own computers. But far from advising them how to fix it, most experts informed him that he had just accidentally deleted the data of his company and its clients, and in so doing had probably destroyed his entire company with just one line of code. The problem command was "rm -rf": a basic piece of code that will delete everything it is told to. The “rm” tells the computer to remove; the r deletes everything within a given directory; and the f stands for “force”, telling the computer to ignore the usual warnings that come when deleting files. Together, the code deleted everything on the computer, including Mr Masarla’s customers' websites, he wrote. Mr Masarla runs a web hosting company, which looks after the servers and internet connections on which the files for websites are stored.

Dustin Tyrone Thomas was released from the Genesee County Jail on Sunday, according to a report. Thomas impersonated his cell mate to trick deputies.The inmate allegedly threatened to kill his cell mate's family. His cell mate then turned over his ID bracelet and social security number, according to the report. Thomas even went so far as to change his hairstyle to look like his cell mate. Earlier this month, Thomas was arrested and remanded without bail for probation violation related to a breaking and entering case out of Flint. Thomas has now also been charged with escaping from lawful custody, according to court records.

When most employees do something terribly wrong, they are at risk of suspension, a sacking or at least a slap on the wrist. But a man who works for craft beer brand BrewDog found himself earning the title of 'employee of the month' - after he caused an entire batch of cans to be recalled because of a naughty prank. According to BrewDog, their packing manager Graeme Wallace was recently responsible for a 200,000 can recall. Annoyed that the company was accused of not being ‘punk’ enough, Graeme changed the wording on the cans to read ‘MOTHER F****R DAY’ on a batch of Punk IPA which was then allegedly shipped out to the whole of the UK. The act of defiance only came to light when amused social media users started tweeting BrewDog photos of the bottom of their beer. Sure enough, someone did share a photo on Imgur with the caption: "Have to take all these beers off sale because someone had a bad day."
A spokesperson for BrewDog said: "At another company, someone responsible for a prank like this might have been given the heave ho. At BrewDog, Graeme was awarded Employee of the Month." Let's hope someone doesn't try to beat him next month. It could get ugly.

Slacker said that he couldn't believe the statistic that most people don't feel confident in their jobs. Slacker said he worked at Walgreens and felt clueless, eventhough his job wasn't rocket science. Slacker said that he would be up a creek if he was fired, because he has too many responsibilities at this point in his life. Slacker then mentioned the story about an IT guy who accidentally erased every file on the company's servers, permenantly, using a code "rm -rf" which "forces" the erase without any warnings. Slacker said that an inmate was released when he impersonated his cellmate, which made Slacker wonder just who is running the jails? Slacker also mentioned the case where an employee got named employee of the month for having a really bad phrase printed on the labl of the brewery's beer cans.

Steve said he can't relate to being fired, although he did remember the dreams of his early career where the soundboard was like a football field away and the radio station was on dead air. Steve said that the IT guy "F'd" himself and the company with one line of code. Steve said that not only should the brewery worker be named employee of the month, he should also get a raise since he put his company on the map and bought them thousands of dollars worth of advertising.

One time I changed our office phone provider and it could have cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars in advertising, however once I figured out the mistake, I changed it back before any of the higher ups found out about it!

When have you made a mistake at work that had far reaching consequences?

Intern Scott
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Suspended

Dora, no vaping! In case witnessing your favorite Disney characters chain-smoke off shift behind Disneyland didn’t rob you of your childhood innocence, here’s a story to make you lose complete faith. Fátima Ptacek, the teenage actress who voices the plucky young adventurer in the popular educational animated series “Dora the Explorer,” was suspended for three days for vaping in a high school bathroom, The Associated Press reports. The 15-year-old, who started exploring with Dora in 2011, was reportedly caught inhaling caramel-flavored water with a classmate back in December. But Ptacek’s partner in crime (not Boots) was forced to leave the school, prompting her parents to file a lawsuit against Avenues: The World School in Manhattan for the discrepancy in punishment and the damages inflicted for tuition payments and legal fees, according to court filings obtained by the New York Post.  “The fact that F.P. is a known actress for being the voice of Dora Explorer may have played a role in why she was ultimately not expelled even after the school threatened as much, and M.S. was expelled instead as a scapegoat,” the parents of the girl, identified as M.S., argue in the lawsuit. According to the court papers, Ptacek allegedly convinced the younger student to try out a vape pen she had borrowed from a classmate. The parents of M.S. are claiming that their daughter fell victim to peer pressure in an attempt to appear “cool” in front of Ptacek. 

Slacker never got suspended because he never got caught.

Steve was suspended twice. First time was 7th grade and there was a passageway that separated the girl’s locker room from the boy’s locker room and he went through the passageway with the camera and he got caught with his friend filming the girl’s locker room.

Lil’ D got in house suspension because a girl was taking a picture with an apple on her head and so he was dared to knock the apple off her head resulting in the apple smashing another girls face making her bleed.

What is your suspended story?
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3am Decisions

 A man who authorities say appeared intoxicated also allegedly taunted a Racine County Sheriff’s K-9 before later being arrested. A deputy was monitoring traffic around 2:30 a.m. on Saturday, April 9th on State Highway 11 in the Town of Dover. He was watching traffic coming from the east when his K9, NOX, started barking. He turned and saw a male walking at an extremely fast pace going around the passenger side and front of the squad. Before the deputy could open his door, the subject was within inches of the driver’s side door. The subject’s lips were separated and he was baring and clinching his teeth. The deputy exited his squad and tried to talk with the subject. Officials say the subject was hostile and refused to keep his hands out of his pockets. This incident was evolving so fast that the deputy was unable to close his squad door. The deputy escorted the subject to the front of the squad and was getting ready to pat him down for weapons when the subject suddenly turned and pushed the deputy in the chest. This caused the deputy to slip on the ice. He was able to grab a hold of the subject. At this time, K-9 NOX exited the still open driver’s door of the squad and assisted his partner by biting the subject in the left wrist area. The subject was taken into custody a short time later. The subject was taken to a hospital for treatment. He was then taken to the Racine County Jail where he is being held on charges of battery to an officer and resisting arrest.

Slacker says he has never experienced anything good after 3am at Taco Bell.

Steve doesn’t stay out late.

What’s your wildest, most bizarre story that happened late into the night?
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OPP: Wife Doesn't Trust Me With the Kids

Yi guys,
My wife and I have 2 kids (they are 2 and 4). I can probably count the number of times she's left the kids alone with me on one hand. It doesn't matter what she's doing or how busy she is, she always takes the kids with her. Even if I'm just sitting on the couch watching TV. I have no problem watching the kids and have told her she can leave them with me when she runs out, but she always says it's just easier to take them with her. I don't get it. I feel like I'm a pretty good dad. I play with the kids when I get off work every night and I've never yelled at them or spanked them. I don't understand why she doesn't trust me with the kids. What could I have done? Help guys!
Eric
 
Slacker said it was close to 2 years before his wife was not next to his son. He understands but doesn’t know if it is healthy. He thinks there is a point where you should let go of the control. He thinks sometimes dads do a better job

Steve thinks if they are with the dad they get to be more like kids and that mothers smother.

What’s your advice? 
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GMD: Meet the Cheat

Sophia’s husband Josh cheated on her. They have no kids and have been married for 4 1/2 years. He was distant and coming home late and she knew something was going on because he started getting angry and he isn’t angry. She asked him if he was cheating and he came clean and begged for forgiveness and they are trying to work on things. She set guidelines and admits she is having problems as well. She wants to meet the person to see what it was about her that he was attracted to. In her gut she wants to meet her to make sure every stone has been uncovered she feels like she has to do this to move forward. Josh says he was an idiot and he owned up to it. He thinks Sophia has been really great. The guidelines are she can look at phone social media and emails. She doesn’t trust him and wants him home before midnight. He is doing what he can to earn her trust. He hasn’t told her who the woman is. He thinks it will do more harm than good if Sophia met her. Josh says it is not about what the women has, that him cheating had to do with them. Sophia says there is something missing with them that he had with her and she wants to know what that is. Josh has severed the tie and hasn’t spoken to the other women.

Slacker understands her curiosity but doesn’t think it is a good idea because the wounds will be fresh again.

Steve thinks they will be done if she doesn’t see her.

Should Sophia meet the cheat or is Josh right and should they keep moving on?
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Creep

My creepy guy story happened at what I call "Club Starbucks."  It's the Starbucks that is in Garden Grove in which everyone goes there to pick up people.  It's weird because everyone is dressed up like they are clubbing.  I was privately coaching the SAT's with my student there one Saturday morning (it's the only one next to her house) and we noticed this group of guys laughing like crazy.  She pointed them out and I noticed they were "pretending" to read the newspaper because they had cut a little hole in the paper to secretly check out girls. In the middle of our session, some guy comes over with 3 carnations and puts them on our table saying, "these are for you from the older guy that just left."  So, I'm totally grossed out because I just saw them acting so shady and the card says something like, "Call me, XXX, phone number." As I was telling my best friend later, he asks, "why don't you call?"  That incites my curiosity so I call.  This guy picks up that sounds freakishly old with a heavy accent and I say, "Hi, I'm the girl you left the flowers for at Starbucks."  And he says, "Which one?"   I hang up right after that.

Slacker thinks that Steve is a creep. He thinks if anyone is a creep it is always a guy. He says Steve likes to brush his women’s hair. Slacker and Steve were at a bar and Steve noticed who a girl was and said she changed her hair and Steve knew because he Facebook stalked her.

Steve is embarrassed of his gender. He thinks he is partially creepy.

What creepy guy story do you have? 
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OPP: Gun Collector

Yi guys! I went on a date with this guy from Tinder. He was really sweet and I liked him a lot. We went for dinner and really hit it off. We went back to his place after dinner and I thought everything was going well until he started showing me all of his guns. He had a lot of them and acted like it was completely normal. Then he started showed me a survival bag he had in case the government ever tried to take over or something happened. He had this whole plan on where he would go with maps already drawn out. It made me really uncomfortable especially for a first date. Should I take this as a warning sign? It's weird for someone to start showing off their gun collection on a first date right?
Lacey
 
Slacker thinks it is tricky when you say certain things. He thinks maybe if you are a prepper then you want to keep it secret. He thinks you can’t really love anybody if you are a prepper because you have to drop everything and leave.

Steve doesn’t have any good advice.

What’s your advice?
 
 
 
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GMD: Social Media Spy

Kelly and Doug’s 16 year old daughter just got her first boyfriend. Doug insists on checking her phone and her social media to keep tabs. Doug says he is not overly protective he is just protective. He knows what it is like to be a 16 year old boy and wants to protect his daughter from that. He is worried his daughter will be a victim. He wants to monitor what she is posting. He doesn’t like pictures her friends take when they are at the beach. Kelly thinks he is being insane. Kelly thinks because everyone is on social media that they shouldn’t prevent her from being on it. She wants to trust their daughter. Doug thinks they should have access to all of her social media because it’s not private. He wants access to everything from social media to texts. Doug says it’s his house and he should have access to it all.

Slacker thinks maybe he has a right because he is supplying everything.

Steve doesn’t know who is right.

Whose side are you on?  
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Signs From Beyond

Tracy Morgan sat down for a new interview with OPRAH for her show "SuperSoul Sunday" on the Oprah Winfrey Network.  And he talked at length about the car crash that almost killed him two years ago. He said that while he was in a medically induced coma for over a week, he actually crossed over to the other side and reunited with his DAD, who passed away in 1987.  But his dad told him it wasn't his time yet, and he came back. He also said the whole experience changed his outlook on life.  And now he's constantly telling random strangers that he loves them, because that's how we SHOULD treat each other. 
 
Slacker likes to think that some sort of spirit is real and you can communicate beyond.
 
Steve thinks you can’t go beyond and then back. He thinks being in a coma negates it. He is skeptical and doesn’t believe ghosts are real.
 
What are your signs from beyond?
 
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UFO's

A 77-year-old California man is using his back yard to host a 90-feet-by-60-feet image of an alien's face made out of rocks, hoping that it will attract UFOs. Larry Decker finished the enormous image of a Grey alien - the kind that supposedly crashed in Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947 - in three days. The man explains, 'Aliens watch everything we do. My idea was to build this thing big enough to be seen from up there, and hopefully, they'll decide to come down and check it out. 'He's equipped his house with cameras to ensure that any visiting spacemen will be caught on film.
 
Slacker believes that UFO’s exist and he has seen them himself. He thinks Steve thinks that everybody who sees a UFO is some redneck. He remembers being 7 and he saw them in the backyard with his family.
 
Steve does not believe in UFO’s.
 
What is your UFO story?
 
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OPP: Used to Date a Man

Candy has a friend who is a guy and they have been friends for a long time. She doesn’t know if he is experimenting but he use to date a guy for about 6 months and now he is dating a girl. The girl has no idea that Candy’s friend has dated guys. She wants to tell her. She wants to be loyal to her friend but thinks about how she would feel in her situation. She is uncomfortable that the girlfriend doesn’t know. She thinks him dating a guy was risky because she thinks the gay community is more “laid back.” He only dated one guy according to Candy.

Slacker thinks that sometimes knowledge is bad and maybe shouldn’t say anything.

Steve thinks she should butt out.

Should Candy get involved?
 
 
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Crimestoppers

For one group of kids in a small village outside London, an afternoon meant to be spent hunting Easter eggs suddenly turned into a thrilling hunt for burglars. The children and their families had gathered together for an Easter egg hunt in a field in Capel, located in Surrey. But an intrusion at a building nearby brought a dramatic police helicopter chase right to them, police said. With a chopper buzzing overhead and two men suddenly racing across the field, those in the group quickly realized they were witnessing a police pursuit. The kids dropped to the ground and lay out in an arrow-shaped formation to point the authorities the right way."The children quickly formed an arrow on the ground in the middle of a plowed field to guide the helicopter in the direction of the fleeing pair," a statement from police said. "The helicopter crew relayed this information to officers on the ground and a short time later two men were arrested."Two men, ages 28 and 27, were arrested on suspicion of burglary in connection with the incident. Both were released on bail while the investigation continues.
 
Slacker thinks it’s a good thing to stop a crime.

Steve thinks if something bad happens to you, then you have nothing to protect you so people should not get involved.

Lil’D  saw a video of a guy in Vegas eating a turkey leg and he trips a guy that was sprinting towards him and then cops come running up and jumped the guy who tripped. The guy with the turkey leg kept walking like nothing happened.

What is your crime stopping story?
 
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Delivery Drama

YI!
 
Jimmy John’s wants to be known for its ‘freaky fast’ delivery service. But one employee at a Florida store may have taken it too literally. The Jimmy John’s delivery man was riding his bike on his way to deliver a sandwich when he discovered that a train was blocking his path. Instead of waiting for the train to pass he decided to pick up his bike and carry it over the train. He was traveling with the train for a few seconds before jumping off. A spokesperson with the sandwich company says that its freaky fast service is the company’s priority but it needs to be done safely and legally. Jimmy John’s has responded to the video saying it doesn’t condone that type of delivery method and the store owner says an investigation is underway.

Slacker said that delivering things can be funny and dangerous at the same time. He mentioned the Uber driver who was didnt help a woman who was delivering a baby get to the hospital. While there is a law that you can turn down someone who is sick or who will damage your vehicle, but you can not refuse service to a mother delivering a baby. slacker said he has tons of delivery stories. Body parts, kidneys, all kinds of things, he delivered to the hospital. He recalled one time when he was going to arrive 30 minutes early at the hospital, and because it doesnt help to get their early, he went and got a burger at a drive through. The drive through screwed up his order and he wound up being hungry and also early at the hospital.

Steve said meanwhile the person's heart was beating next to him, Slacker was wondering whether or not he should go back and complain that his order was messed up. Steve reiterated a few times that Slacker doesnt have the power or right to determine when someone's body part arrives, to which Slacker retorted that yes, he does.

Have you ever had delivery drama? 

Intern Scott
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OPP: Mommy Did Everything

YI!

Today's #OPP comes from Audrey who is having trouble with her boyfriend. Apparently when he was a kid, his mom did everything for him, and he expects her to do the same. She wants to know if he will ever grow up. 

Slacker said that he hates to downplay an OPP but that for this one, he does not think he will ever change. Slacker also said at first it seems like he is allowing her into his life, but really he just views her as a surrogate for his mom. Slacker asked her if she loved him and she said yes, to which Slacker reacted negatively. Slacker thinks the answer is out there with the callers, either its an easy fix or he will never change.  Slacker said that she will eventually be doing everything if she is not careful! 

Steve said that his behavior means that he loves her! Steve says that she already resents his mom, because she is the reason for his actions. Mom is handing this guy off to her, and she could even be checking her out. steve wondered aloud, can someone ever change a mamas boy?  Steve also said if they get married and have kids he will likely make her do all the work.

What do you think, will he mature, should she cut and run or should she try to change him?

Intern Scott


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Hit House

YI!
 
A plane’s emergency slide fell onto a house in Mesa, Arizona.  The home in directly under the flight path and the homeowner heard a loud bang then her house shook.  Someone else called 911 after seeing something falling from a plane.  Cops arrived to find the emergency slide in front of the woman’s house.  The FAA confirmed it was a slide that fell from a plane that was landing at the nearby airport.  
 
An 80-year-old New York man thought his furnace had exploded in the middle of the night. Instead, he found a car had been driven into his house, and ended up in the basement.The man called 911 when he heard "a big bang," and after dispatchers had him get out of the house, he found a hole in the side of the house and a man crawling out of it.A second man in the vehicle was seriously injured. Police are still investigating what may have been the cause of the crash.

Slacker said he got his house egg bombed a few days after it was painted. Slacker said that an inflated slide fell from a plane and hit someone's house in Arizona. Slacker said that cars hitting houses is somethign he is used to, because once every 2 months a car would hit his grandparent's house. His grandparents lived on a straight road, except for a curve which happened to happen right in front of their house, which caused many many cars to smash into his grandparents house.  His dad even parked a tractor in front of the house to stop cars from hitting the house. Slacker also mentioned that Boeing Bombs and meteorites also hit houses.

Steve said that Slacker's grandparents should have moved off of the demolition derby speedway.  Steve also said that meteors are called meteorites when they hit the earth. Steve also wondered if Slacker's grandparents ever thought about moving.

When have you had something that hit your house?

Intern Scott

 
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Number One Incident

Gary Peters, 53, was enjoying some cold beers at the Gregory Downs Hotel, where he also works, in Australia, when he walked outside to 'take a leak' in some bushes. But, instead, he got a nasty surprise. "He came back in with a tea towel wrapped around his leg and then told everyone he'd been bitten by a snake," fellow pub worker Peta Warden said. Following the strike, believed to be from a poisonous mulga, quick-thinking mates fashioned a splint and began bandaging. But when Mr Peters started to fall in and out of consciousness, friends hoisted him onto the back of a vehicle and drove two kilometres to the nearest airstrip. Once there he was treated by RACQ Careflight paramedics, who praised locals for correctly applying first aid.

Slacker has never has a number one incident.

Steve peed his pants at school because a classmate was taking forever in the bathroom.
 
Lil’D was so hammered and did not want to do walk of shame in front of his parents so he had a number one incident in a Gatorade bottle but it overflowed.
 
What is your number one incident?
 
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Lengths for Love

A British holidaymaker was rescued and taken to hospital after trying to swim after a cruise liner that she believed her husband to be on. 65-year-old Susan Brown jumped into the Atlantic and tried to swim after the Marco Polo cruise liner as it left a port in Funchal, Madeira, according to reports in the Telegraph.
Ms. Brown was already 500 metres out to see when fishermen heard her screaming. Reports say she and her husband had purchased tickets to fly back to the UK from Madeira rather than returning to the Marco Polo, wishing to cut their trip short. Ms. Brown went after the ship after she lost sight of her husband at the island’s airport, thinking he had changed his mind about flying back early.
Mr. Marques said she was fully clothed and suffering from the effects of hypothermia when she was rescued and rushed to intensive care. She was later transferred to a psychiatric unit at Nelio Mendonca Hospital. 
 
Slacker has never gone through any great lengths for love.
 
Steve had only had women go through great lengths for him.
 
What did you do for love?
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OPP: Boyfriend Buys Too Much

Yi guys,
I started dating a guy 4 months ago that I met online. The first date we went on, he brought me a dozen roses and then after dinner we were walking around and he bought me a piece of art for my apartment. I thought it was strange and tried to refuse but he insisted. Since that first date, he has bought me something almost every time we see each other. Clothes, makeup, a new cell phone, stuff for my apartment...he just keeps buying me more and more. I feel bad about it but he always insists. I guess my question is if this is a bad thing? Is he buying me so much stuff to make up for something else? Am I just a really lucky girl that met a nice guy or is there something else going on? Why would a guy buy so much stuff for a girl he just started dating?
Jen
 
Slacker thinks that this kind of stuff use to be the norm and he is just a generous guy. He thinks he might be a fixer upper guy.

Steve thinks that the guy is lacking and buying her stuff is his way to soften the blow

What’s your advice?
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GMD: Crafty Career

Elaine and her husband are getting a lot of money back from their taxes and she wants to use the money to sell the crafts she makes. She says her crafts are from Pinterest and she is really good at it, she wants to start an in home business and sell the crafts. It is something she loves to do. She says a lot of her friends try the Pinterest crafts and they never look good but according to Elaine her crafts always look like the pictures and look good. Nathan thinks the mason jar crafts are cool but he wants to take the money to travel. He doesn’t think their extra money should go to making crafts in the basement. He says she does a good job but people go online to make these crafts themselves. He doesn’t see people wanting to buy her crafts because the magic of crafting off of Pinterest is that you do it yourself.

Slacker tried to be on Elaine’s side by saying “you will never work a day in your life if you do what you love” although he doesn’t think that using the money on crafts is a good idea.

Steve thinks it’s a good idea for her to invest in herself.

Whose side are you on?
 
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Prom

One senior decided to ask his crush to prom over the loudspeaker at their high school's football game. Sadly, when he asked a girl in the stands, "Is there any way you would want to come to prom with me," in front of a HUUUUUGE crowd of onlookers, she shut him down in front of everyone, responding into the loud speaker, "I already have a date... I'm sorry." The crowd was understandably mortified for him, letting out a collective, "Awwwww!!!" at the awkwardness. The girl seemed super apologetic for having to shut him down in front of everyone, but she kind of had to say no, since she had another date and all.

Slacker didn’t really have a prom and the one that he did have he borrowed his friends girlfriend and blew a bunch of money for nothing. He wore a white tux on white.

Steve wore a white tux on pink. He says nothing exciting happened.

What was your prom disaster?
 
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Movie Moment

When you picture Los Angeles, you don't picture people riding around on horses, unless maybe they're filming a movie. Which makes this URBAN COWBOY HERO story even better. A guy snatched a woman's purse in the parking lot of a mall in Northridge, California on Friday night. (Northridge is a city in the San Fernando Valley in L.A. County.) The woman started yelling for help. And it arrived in the form of a man on horseback, who was randomly riding his horse through the parking lot. He and his horse took off after the purse snatcher and cornered him…so the guy dropped the purse and ran away. The man scooped up the purse, trotted back to the mall, and delivered it to the lil' lady. Then, we assume, he rode off into the sunset. The cops are trying to track down the thief.  
 
Slacker has always wanted to jump into a cab and scream “follow that car!”

Steve had to cut the right wire once. He thinks his whole life is one long cinema extravaganza directed by him.

What is your movie moment?
 
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OPP: When To Demand the Ring

Cynthia is 16 and has been with her boyfriend for 4 ½ years. They have been talking about marriage for over a year and she is ready for a ring. She feels like she should give him an ultimatum and that her boyfriend should man up. She says he is just postponing. She is ready to walk away if he won’t propose. They have been getting a lot of pressure from family. She has been led to believe that he does want to spend the rest of his life with her so she doesn’t understand why it has not happened yet.

Slacker does not feel human nature responds well to ultimatums. Men want to get by with the least amount of effort. He believes guys need to have push.

Steve thinks guys aren’t going to imitate so women have to push them. He doesn’t think she should bring up fact that all of their friends are getting married. He thinks she has to be sure that he is in love with her instead of just being comfortable and loves her.

What’s your advice?
 
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Drunk at Work

A Tacoma, Wash. teacher stands accused of being drunk while on the job. School officials say Klara Bowman had a blood-alcohol concentration level that was five times the legal limit, while teaching her kindergarten students. The school district has accused the teacher of drinking a mug of rum and orange juice while teaching her class. One teacher reported that the woman was so drunk, she fell onto two students and quickly propped herself up. A student reported the teacher to the main office and administrators found her in a chair with her head back, and her eyes and face red. One school staff member said the teacher appeared unsteady as she walked to the main office, and at one point she walked right into a wall in front of a class of 4th graders. A co-worker told the school that the teacher later sent her a series of texts, asking her to get rid of liquor bottles she stashed in the classroom. The teacher is now trying to save her job, and has filed an appeal asking for a hearing.
 
Both Slacker and Steve have done the show completely wasted. People send them alcohol all the time and they are kind of proud of it because they are able to function, also their job is easy.

Slacker was waiting in the airport and saw a pilot walk by who was swaggering through the airport and he could tell the pilot was tanked. He thinks a pilot also has an easy job because they just have to hit autopilot. He thinks it is okay to drink as a pilot but not as a teacher.

Steve thinks slacker is standing up for the pilot because alcoholics have to stick together.

When have you been hammered at work?

 
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Culture Shock

YI!

A new survey asked people from other countries to share the strange things that surprised them the first time they visited the U.S.  Here are the top 10: 
1.  There are a ton of squirrels.
2.  The size of our sodas.
3.  The giant turkey legs for sale at amusement parks.
4.  All of the drive-thrus, and not just for fast food.  For coffee, pharmacies, liquor, and more.
5.  All the ads for lawyers and prescription drugs.
6.  The gaps on the bathroom stall doors.
7.  American flags everywhere.
8.  How friendly people are.
9.  Everyone constantly driving above the speed limit.
10.  The massive size of our vehicles.


Slacker said that he was shocked that International visitors ranked squirrels everywhere as their biggest shock. Also, Slacker opined that many international countries eat meat on a stick, yet turkey legs surprise many international visitors. Drive thrus fascinate international visitors and Slacker said that the rest of the world is doing it wrong. slacker said he has visited Brazil and Mexico, and the bathrooms are made of marble and echo through the entire room. Sound dampening from carpet would be a great improvement. And he also doesnt get the bide, its freezing cold water and there is no control on the blast of water. Slacker said that using toilet paper was better than a bide any day of the week.

Steve said he is not making fun of other cultures, just pointing out how funny our differences are. Steve said the biggest flags he has ever seen was in Mexico and he also has seen tons of Brazillians wearing their flag, so he doesnt understand how they think american flag are that crazy.

I went to Austria for summer classes once. The beer and brats were great, but they didnt understand how to play half-court basketball. So, every rebound was actually a lay-up for the recovering team playing defense.  They wouldnt take the ball back to half court to reset sides. It was insanity, it made no sense, but I guess they think the same about us and soccer (football).

Intern Scott
 
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Weirdest Way We Met

YI!

A single Australian woman has had a child using in-vitro fertilisation, only to later fall in love with the man who was her anonymous sperm donor. In an unlikely "back to front love story" that has attracted the interest of Hollywood filmmakers, Aminah Hart, now 45, only met her husband-to-be after she had given birth to their daughter Leila. Soon after, the pair fell in love and have now announced they are engaged. Ms Hart, who was born in London, had selected Scott Andersen, an Australian cattle farmer who lives on an island off the south coast, from five possible sperm donors because she liked that he listed himself as "happy and healthy". They agreed to meet for the first time in Melbourne four days after Leila's first birthday. "Neither of us expected it to happen," Mr Andersen told The Telegraph. "I fell in love with Leila before I fell in love with Aminah! It was all odd at the start. But Leila's beautiful. We arranged to meet once a month. Aminah and I became quite friendly and Leila started calling me daddy and coming to me all the time." Ms Hart, an advertising professional, previously had two sons from a husband in London and a partner in Australia, but both babies died. She then learnt that she was the carrier of a rare genetic disorder which affects sons but not daughters. At age 42, she decided to try one last time for a healthy baby using IVF. And soon after Leila turned one, Ms Hart decided to try to track down the father. Her own father was a West Indian film extra who met her Australian mother in London shortly after he returned from playing Omar Sharif's bodyguard in the film Lawrence of Arabia. The couple split when Ms Hart was young and she later tried to find him in England, but learnt that he died shortly before her arrival. Determined to find her own daughter's father, she discovered his identity through a series of internet searches based on his name "Scott" as well as his profession as a cattle breeder and his role as a football coach. Rather than contact him directly, however, she contacted him via the official IVF register. He was not legally required to meet Leila until she turned 18 but agreed, especially after he received a photo of his baby and saw how much she looked like both him and his four other children from two previous marriages. "It was surreal," he said. "I was looking at this little girl – she looks like my other kids and like me. Blonde hair, blue eyes. It was overwhelming at the start. It wasn't really my daughter, but it was. At first, I didn't know Aminah so I didn't show much emotion." Ms Hart added: "It was nervous and we were very tentative, but the rapport was really easy. The first thing for me was, phew he's a nice guy." The pair agreed that Mr Andersen would become a part of Leila's life and they all began to meet once a month and then once a week, even though she lived in Melbourne and he lived 80 miles away, on Phillip Island, off the coast of the state of Victoria. "My children all adored her," he said. "Leila is just a happy kid. She didn't want to go home and she cuddled the boys the whole time."The pair both separated from their partners and a mutual attraction developed, though Mr Andersen was apprehensive because "I thought she was totally out of my league". Eventually, trapped on the island due to a road closure, they went for a beer and she told him: "I think you should kiss me." It took another five minutes or so, but the pair finally embraced. "So, romance was born," Ms Hart told Australian Story. "I just essentially say to people the cart well and truly came before the horse and the horse caught up eventually and hooked itself on.

In 2011, Nikki's sister, Mandy, decided to move to San Diego, where their third sister, Missy, was living. Mandy found a room through Craigslist that was being subleased while the regular occupant, a guy named Philip, was in Sweden for the summer. "He mentioned he would be moving back into his room after three months, but my sister thought it would be perfect just so she can find something else after the three months," said Nikki, 25 (formerly Cervantez). When one of the roommates ended up moving out, Nikki decided to move to San Diego, too. With Philip's anticipated return, Mandy and Nikki started sharing a room so that nobody had to move out. Although Philip, 26, had set up the arrangement, he had never met Nikki. But it was Nikki who ended up picking him up from the airport when he got back. "It was the strangest thing because I had no idea who she was or what she looked like, yet she was my ride home," Philip laughed. "One of our roommates was supposed to pick him up from the airport but got too drunk to drive and begged me to do it," Nikki added. It was just about love at first sight. "We talked the whole way home, and I couldn't believe we were going to be living together," Philip said. "We tried not to date for a little bit because we were roommates,'' Nikki admitted, "but it was inevitable." Their first date came after they had the chance to get to know each other in group settings as roommates."It was the best date I've ever been on. By the end of the night I knew I loved Philip," Nikki said.

Slacker said he wants to go to a sperm bank and read the descriptions of why the women should pick their sperm. He has no idea how the woman chose his sperm. A woman from Australia who was looking for a sperm donor to get pregnant decided to meet the donor and soon afterwards they got married. Slacker also said that a movie is in the works.  

Steve said he would go with Slacker to the sperm bank to find out how these guys market themselves. Steve also said most of these people getting together are just desperate and sad. 

Lil D said he read a story about a man who got punched in the face, and that he wound up marrying the woman who was dating the guy who punched him.

What was the weirdest way you met your other (or better) half?

Intern Scott
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OPP: In Love with 2 Men

Our OPP Today is from Candy and she has been in love with 2 men, one of whom is her husband  and the other is a long-term partner. Her husband does not know about her other man, and she feels asthough she gets something different from each man.

Slacker said that this woman is happy and having her cake and eating it too. But deep down, he thinks that she feels awful and guilty. Her smugness pisses Slacker off. Slacker compared her to someone who brags about being happy and fulfilled, but inside they are not.  Slacker thinks its wrong to not be open about it, and that its not really polyamory if not all the partners know about eachother. 

Steve thinks she is genuinely happy and he is stoked for her. Steve doesn't think she feels guilty. He alsowondered why Slacker can't be happy for her. Steve thinks there are no victims here at all because they don't know about it. Steve said to bet on love!!!  

Have you ever dated 2 people at the same time, and how did it turn out?

Intern Scott
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KIutz

YI!

Supergirl may be stronger than a locomotive, but Melissa Benoist is a bit of a klutz by her own admission. The actress told Jimmy Fallon of one of her biggest spills — getting hit by a cab — during Friday’s episode of The Tonight Show. It happened during her first semester at Marymount Mahattan College when she was learning to ride a bike. After she “pin ball machined” through cars and trucks, a cab backed into her.  “I had a huge gash here, and I was totally coherent, like no concussion or anything,” she said, “but all I remember is laying in the middle of 2nd Avenue and 68th Street screaming profanities at this poor man who hit me.” 

The klutzy Mill Basin liquor store owner who accidentally discharged his 9mm Ruger during a wedding at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel was arrested Tuesday after turning himself in to police. Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus R. Vance, Jr announced that 43-year-old Vladimir Gotlibovsky was charged with six counts of misdemeanor assault, illegal weapons possession and evidence tampering for trying to cover up the crime. His older brother, Felix Gotlibovsky, 52, was charged with weapons possession and evidence tampering.  Back in June, the younger Gotlibovsky allegedly brought a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic pistol, which he was licensed to carry, to a wedding at the glitzy Manhattan hotel. While fumbling through his pants pocket for a seating card, the gun went off and ripped a hole in Gotlibovsky’s pants. The bullet ricochetted off the floor and grazed the head of a 55-year-old woman from Brighton Beach. Bullet shrapnel and debris from the floor also injured three other guests.

Until recently, if anyone asked me if I liked to cook I'd tell them the truth: yes, I loved to cook, but the problem was it was too dangerous to do so.And I was only half-joking. Earlier this year I badly burnt my arms and wrists when taking something out of the oven. I was wearing oven gloves but struggled to judge the distance between my arms and the side of the oven (I have the same difficulty parking the car) and singed myself. My arms became blistered and I still have the scars. And I've lost count of the number of times I've cut my fingers rather than the vegetables or whatever it was I was trying to chop - controlling a knife is so hard. So I have tended to get a takeaway or restrict myself to a salad. It's not just in the kitchen that I lack the coordination that others seem to find so easy. A few months ago I was trying to shave my legs. Somehow, despite using a standard disposable razor, I cut myself - a huge slash across my leg. My hand just slipped and I shaved off the skin from the front of my shin. The cut was so bad that a week later I was still bleeding, so I went to A&E, where the nurse asked me if I had done it on purpose. I told her with an embarrassed shrug: 'Er, no, I just didn't feel what I was doing until it was too late. I looked down and saw all the blood.' Coordinating hands or feet is bad enough but trying to do them all together is a nightmare. I tried an aerobics class years ago and left after one session as I just could not follow what should go where. I have always been like this. At school I got called 'klutz' or 'butter fingers' as I was so clumsy. While I did fine academically - I speak five languages and did a degree in international relations at an Ivy League university in the U.S. - I could not dress myself properly or tie shoe laces until I was 11. Teachers often shouted at me for being disorganised or lazy. I knew I was trying my best to bring the right book to the right class or to remember my pencil case, but nobody would believe me. Until recently, I thought that however frustrating and difficult this was, it was just part and parcel of being me. Yes, things did just slip through my fingers, and, yes, despite writing lists I still could not organise myself to leave the house with everything I needed for meetings. I just reasoned there was nothing that could be done. But I now know this not to be the case. In fact, this natural clumsiness and inability to coordinate my body or organise my thoughts stems from a neurodevelopmental disorder called dyspraxia.

Slacker said, he shouldn't laugh, but this baseball player hurt his knee trying to remove his shoe. Slacker also said he personally falls down taking his pants off, Lil D too. Slacker said Steve isn't a klutz because he is sedentary.  Slacker advised people to not bring a gun to a wedding, especially at the Waldorf. Its not a white trash wedding. 

Steve says he is not very klutzy. Steve also said that he thought Jimmy Fallon was an Uber driver and hit Melissa Benoist, the new Supergirl. 

Lil D said that the baseball player tore the ligaments in his knee when he was trying to take his shoes off. Lil D also mentioned that there was a guy driving his car who dropped some fries and then while trying to pick them up, crashed his car into a telephone pole at 60 mph. The Lil D related a story when he ran in socks and slipped on a stairs. 

How have you been a klutz? What was your most klutziest moment?

Intern Scott
 


 

Worst Day Ever

A 77-foot vessel called Positive Energy, worth a reported $2.5 million, was moored at the Charlotte Amalie harbor in St. Thomas when the fire suddenly broke out. It took several hours for firefighters to extinguish the blaze, which sent massive clouds of black smoke billowing high above. Positive Energy was towed to a more secure location as efforts continued to tame the flames. West Indian Co. Ltd.’s president told news site St. Thomas Source that no injuries were reported. It was not yet known what caused the fire on the yacht, which Boat International magazine reported was built by Taiwan’s Monte Fino yard in 2004. It accommodated up to seven guests in three large staterooms and featured a “country kitchen” galley, entertainment space, marble bar, three-piece sofa and a cocktail table.

Slacker was 16 and saved up and bought a really nice guitar he was playing with his dog and guitar and set the guitar down to sleep. His dog puked all over the guitar and crawled under the Christmas tree and died. He lost his guitar and dog. He was driving really fast because of the dog and almost got a ticket. Later he got home on Christmas day and his family ate Christmas dinner without him.

Steve seems to have never had a bad day. Life is perfect.

What was your worst day?
 
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OPP: Married Boyfriend

Yi guys,
I've been seeing a guy on and off for about 7 months but he has a very busy work schedule so we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. There were times when we would go a week or so without seeing each other. I'm just getting started in my career so I filled my time with my work too. So earlier this week we were texting and he said that he was having a really bad day and I was really missing him so I decided to bring him lunch to try to make his day better. When I got to his office I asked for him and the woman at the front desk asked me if I was his wife! I explained that I was his girlfriend and she apologized and said she thought we were married because he always talks about his wife. All the pieces finally came together and it explained why he was always to busy. I felt so dumb and naive. I left and haven't seen him since and obviously I don't want to see him again. I want to know if I should try to find his wife and tell her? Do I confront him or just move on after being so stupid?
Candy
 
Slacker thinks this situation is bad. He would want to know if he was getting cheated on. He thinks there is a sisterhood loyalty. He thinks because she has the information she should tell the wife. All she is going to get is revenge but something should happen. He says if you see something say something

Steve says leave it alone and don’t make things worse. If the wife is not seeing it then it’s on her. He doesn’t think she should say anything because there is no loyalty. Mind your own business.

Should Candy tell the wife?
 
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GMD: Dealing With Mom's Death

Nicole and Kate’s mom is terminally ill. There are moments when she is not lucid and moments when she is there and fine. The doctors have said that she is suffering. Nicole said her mom told her she is not ready to go. She found a doctor in Arizona that has a holistic approach to help her and she wants to give her mom a shot by trying to use this doctor. She is saying Kate is very stubborn and needs back up. Kate is confused as to why they are doing this on the air. She feels the decision needs to be made maturely and logically. Kate is saying their mom said she is done with the suffering.  Kate feels they need to bring their emotions down and make a good decision. Kate says the doctors can’t do anything and they have spent so much money she doesn’t understand why Nicole wants to keep going through this. Nicole thinks it will work and is not ready to just give up. She recognizes it is not a treatment they are used to, but wants to give it a try. Kate says their mom is not going to get better and doesn’t think it is a good idea to drag their sick mom across states. She believes she needs to be moved to hospice. Nicole doesn’t think her life she be ended in hospice she doesn’t feel their mom will be comfortable.

Slacker thinks it might do both of them some good to hear from others with no emotional connection. He doesn’t have a side he agrees with.

Steve is not taking any side.

What should they do?
 
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Weird Pets

A Florida woman is selling her fully trained pet alligator for $700. She said the alligator doesn’t bite, is potty trained, wears clothes, sits on props and knows sign language and English. The woman said she only wants to hear from serious buyers who have the proper licenses. She is selling the gator because she doesn’t have a big enough yard at her new home.

Slacker had a massive hamster, but that was it. He doesn’t understand why anyone would try to sell and alligator.

Steve had a dog which isn’t weird. He says wouldn’t buy and alligator.

Lil’D hasn’t had any weird pets.

What weird pets have you had?
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Dating Disasters

33-year-old Alfredo Torres the Third of Cleveland, Ohio met a 27-year-old woman named Crystal on a dating app last week.  And they agreed to meet up when he got off work around midnight. He picked her up in his 2004 Ford Escape, and their date consisted of driving around for the entire night to visit her friends and relatives.  Around 5:00 A.M., one of Crystal's friends got in the car, and they asked Alfredo if they could get ice cream. So he went to a gas station, and they stayed in the car while he bought a pint of butter pecan ice cream.  But when he looked outside . . . his car was GONE. He called the cops to report it, then tried to return the ice cream to get his $3 back. But the clerk told him a woman had taken it, so he even got screwed out of THAT. It's not clear who took the ice cream, whether it was Crystal, her friend, or some other woman who just wanted free ice cream. The cops found his SUV the next day, but his cell phone, bank information, pay stubs, and spare set of keys were all missing.  So they're trying to track down Crystal.  
 
Slacker hasn’t really experienced a dating disaster. He is convinced it is better to stay married so he doesn’t have to date.  

Steve was on a first date sitting next to a couple who was clearly on their first date. He said the first words out of the guy on the other date’s mouth, were you know you are paying for all of this tonight right. He proceeded to order a bunch of food. Steve ended up having a date with someone and she said that behavior was normal.

What dating disaster have you experienced?
 
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OPP: Chase the Dream?

Catherine is a manager at a retail store. She is 24 and is wondering what she is doing with her life. She is making good money as a manager but it is not her dream. She says she has gotten a lot of shots bought for her at a karaoke bar making her feel reassured that she is a good singer. She wants to move to a major city and just go for her dream of singing

Slacker thinks if she doesn’t go for it then she won’t make it, but if she does go for it she may not make it either. He says it is not as glamorous as you think. He did pursue his dream once and wouldn’t trade what he did. He thinks she should be asking someone who knows how well she sings.

Steve is a dream crusher. He thinks if she doesn’t chase her dream then you will always think about it. He says pursuing your dream comes with price.

What’s your advice?
 
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Teacher Tales

Teacher Was Five Times the Legal Limit of Drunkenness While Teaching Class. A Tacoma, Wash. teacher stands accused of being drunk while on the job. School officials say Klara Bowman had a blood-alcohol concentration level that was five times the legal limit, while teaching her kindergarten students. The school district has accused the teacher of drinking a mug of rum and orange juice while teaching her class. One teacher reported that the woman was so drunk, she fell onto two students and quickly propped herself up. A student reported the teacher to the main office and administrators found her in a chair with her head back, and her eyes and face red. One school staff member said the teacher appeared unsteady as she walked to the main office, and at one point she walked right into a wall in front of a class of 4th graders. A co-worker told the school that the teacher later sent her a series of texts, asking her to get rid of liquor bottles she stashed in the classroom. The teacher is now trying to save her job, and has filed an appeal asking for a hearing.
 
Slacker would teach kindergartners if he had to because they don’t mouth off.

Steve had a hot substitute teacher named Mrs. Fox. That’s the teacher that stood out to him. If he had to teach he would teach between high school and college.

What are your teacher tales?
 
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Cheesy Romantic Gestures Women Love

YI!

Here are the cheesy romantic gestures women secretly love but probably won’t admit to a guy that they do:
Notebook-style kissing in the rain: This rarely, if ever, happens in real life – but when they do it in the movies, it’s simply amazing! And every woman has dreamed of it. If she says she hasn’t, she’s lying! Holding hands and ice skating in the winter: Yep, Hallmark Christmas movie style with hot cocoa and mittens. Dancing in your living room: Nope, you aren’t at a wedding or at a club – your guy just puts on a slow jam and casually leans over to ask you to dance. Coming home to a guy who is waiting with dinner ready and a glass of wine: Even if it’s just take out – this is totally swoon worthy!Asking to wash or brush our hair: Guys, if you don’t realize that women love having their hair played with and head scratched, consider this a public service announcement. Just be careful. Once you start, she won’t let you stop! Breakfast in bed: It’s cliché but we love it!

Slacker said that the movie song "In Your Eyes" and the pottery wheel in the living room while sounding romantic, would make women run away screaming.  slacker also said that he kissed in the rain once. Slacker also said that he has made breakfast in bed once and it worked out great! 

Steve said that women think they love what they see in the movies, but that in reality they don't. Steve said he has never kissed in the rain and also doesnt ice skate and hold hands. He thinks it's stupid. Steve will load his ipod shuffle with great music and spontaneously dance with his girlfriend in his living room. Brushing a woman's hair is very romantic, according to Steve, but Slacker and Lil D said that was too close to Silence of the Lambs. Steve said that the continental breakfast offered by Slacker wouldnt be romantic for him.

Lil D said that he did Notebook "Kissing in the Rain" combined with dancing in the rain, but once the initial moment had passed, they both felt stupid.  Since he doesn't skate very well, Lil D said that he would only bring his wife down by trying to hold her hand while ice skating.

I bought a girl 100 roses once in highschool.  She loved it.  I felt like a block of cheddar.

So when has someone given you a great cheesy romantic gesture that you loved?

Intern Scott
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Work Stealers

YI!

The owner of an IHOP in New York recently noticed something weird.  A 27-year-old employee named William Powell wasn't selling as many drinks as other employees who worked the same shift. About 6% of his sales were from drinks, compared to about 20% for other servers. So he started looking at surveillance footage, and found out William had been giving almost everyone their drinks for FREE.  So he reported it to the cops.  And when they asked William why he did it, he said he was a, "modern day Robin Hood," who was robbing from the rich to give to the poor.  And he said he'd been doing it since the day he STARTED! The owner says it's cost him about $3,000 in sales over the past six months, so the guy's facing charges for larceny and possession of stolen property. 

According to the FBI, 49-year-old Stephen Dennis is an ex-money processing manager for Brink's Company in Alabama. Because he had access to bags and bags of quarters, he allegedly swapped out coins for beads and made off with nearly $200,000 in 2014! Dennis has agreed to plead guilty and pay Brink's back for the money he stole from the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta while he was working in the armored transport service's Birmingham branch. According to a Justice Department press release, Dennis allegedly entered Brink's on a day he wasn't scheduled to work and took four of the empty bags used to store quarters (each bag holds $50,000 worth). He then filled them mostly with beads, as well as with just enough quarters so the coins could be seen in a see-through window on each bag. He's then said to have put the four bags in the coin room and, at some point, stolen 784,000 quarters -- about 10,000 pounds' worth (Think: same weight as large hippo)! He's now facing 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine, though it's still unclear how his plea deal will affect his punishment. 

A Metro Transit employee was charged Friday with felony motor vehicle theft for allegedly stealing an unattended commuter bus in order to make it to work on time. Gregory J. Jennrich, 31, of South St. Paul, was arrested after a short joy ride toward the agency’s South Garage, where he told police he works as a mechanic. The bus’s licensed Metro Transit driver reported it stolen about 9:50 p.m. Wednesday after returning from a scheduled break to find the vehicle missing, according to agency spokesman Howie Padilla. The driver had parked the Route 75 bus at a Holiday gas station near the intersection of Marie Avenue and S. Robert Street in West St. Paul, Padilla said. Jennrich admitted to taking advantage of her absence after locking his keys in his car, jumping in the empty driver’s seat and speeding away, police said. Officers used GPS technology to track the bus as it headed west on Interstate 494. Within minutes, Metro Transit and airport police, along with State Patrol officers, stopped it just east of 24th Avenue near the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.Jennrich was detained without incident about 10 minutes after the original call, Padilla said. No passengers were on the bus at the time of the theft. Jennrich told police that he was concerned about getting to work on time, according to the criminal complaint. He did not have permission to drive or take the bus. Padilla said Friday that Jennrich’s employment status will be addressed within coming weeks and Metro Transit will conduct an internal investigation.

Slacker said that Steve stole from one of his previous employers by clocking a friend in who was running late. Slacker remarked that the Robin Hood of IHOP stole from his company whether it was drinkis or not, for a total of $3k. Slacker also mentioned that the Brinks thief probably drove a PT Cruiser when he loaded it up with 10,000 lbs of quarters. But if he goes to IHOP he can pay in quarters, and the drinks are free! Slacker also said there are certain things you don't steal, like quarters.  Slacker said if he was the dude he would pay the fine in quarters.

Steve said that Slacker set up a fake cash register and took people's money at a grocery store. Steve said that it was IHOP's fault for not catching the guy earlier.  Steve thought the guy who stole a bus so he wouldnt get to work late most likely eats at IHOP.

When I worked at Burger King, me and the other employees stole so many chicken tenders that they were losing money and had to stop selling them until they could figure out a way to stop the pilfering.

What have you walked out of the office with? 

Intern Scott
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OPP: Ex Can't Let Go

YI!

Today's #OPP is from Victoria who is having trouble with an ex-boyfriend who will not let go.

Yi Guys,
I was with my ex-boyfriend for about 7 months when I broke up with him. I just wasn't feeling it anymore and thought it was time to move on. Since I ended it with him almost a month ago he's gotten really weird. I've seen him driving by my house once. He's come into my work to shop a few times. He's left me flowers on my car. He's texted me about 200 times asking to get back with him. I think he's just having a really hard time moving on and I kinda feel bad for him. How do I get him to let go and realize that we aren't going to be together? I don't want to get him in any trouble because he really is a nice guy, so I don't want to get a restraining order or anything. How do you get a guy to just move on with his life when he's obsessing about you?
Victoria

Slacker said he is not sure whether or not he is just a nice guy or whether or not his behavior is stalker-esque. Slacker was also surprised that Steve has done facebook stalking on some of his ex-gfs.  Slacker also wondered how do you get him to stop? Talk to his parents? Talk to his friends? Whats the best way to deal with this situation without getting the police involved? Slacker didnt want to make light of the situation, especially since stalking is a crime, but he also didnt want to impugn the man's character without his side of the story and hoped that he was just a fool in love.

Steve said he has actually sort-of stalked some of his exs and followed up on their lives after theyve broken up, and every single one of them has grown and blossomed after they seperated. So ladies, if you want a better life, date Steve and then break up! 

When I was in third grade I called a girls house non-stop for a day because she was so pretty. The next day the principal made an announcement that if you like someone, just tell them, and don't annoy them by calling their house all day. I wanted to die from embarassment.

Have you dealt with a stalker before? How did you handle it?

Intern Scott
 
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Spring Break!

YI!

Spring Break 2016 in South Padre Island has officially begun, but it will be different this year than any other, because the South Padre Island Police Department will be spying on Spring Breakers with drones. South Padre Island, Texas, is one of the few places in the United States where it’s legal for Spring Breakers to bring alcohol on the beach. Which is cool. But, the cops will be watching. There will be plenty of plainclothes police officers mingling with the visitors – as well as two drones with a 4K camera flying around. So if you’re headed to South Padre, stay out of fights and have your ID ready. It will be fun, but the cops will do their best to make sure it’s not a free-for-all.

Slacker said that he couldn't go anywhere cool because he was poor, but he wants to live through everyone else's Spring Break stories. He said that he wanted to go, but couldn't afford it. Slacker also reviewed the top 10 Spring Break destinations for college students and noted that a lot of them were not even near a beach and therefore were disqualified. Slacker wondered, how can it be called Spring Break without a beach?

Steve said that his parents never let him go on Spring Break because it was too crazy. Steve also agreed that a concrete jungle did not count as a valid Spring Break destination, although he did say that Vegas should always be an exception to the rule.

Lil' D said he was the only one of the team that had a real spring break. He recalled partying with old people on the beach and had a great time.

Unfortunately, I don't remember any of my Spring Break parties, but I am sure they were fun!

What's your best Spring Break story?

Intern Scott
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