Slacker & Steve's Blog



OPP: Leaving My Husband

YI!
 
Today’s OPP is from Julia:
 
Julia and her husband have a rocky relationship. He is constantly going on business trips and is cheating on her; she knows this because he rubs it in her face! Julia wants to get away from him and wants to know how to go about it. Should she drain the bank account? Run away with the kids?
 
Slacker says that there is no spark in her voice when she talks about the relationship, it just seems empty.
 
Steve was thinking about a shelter she could go in meantime but it seems clear that she wants to just up and leave.
 
What do you think Julia should do?
 
Signed,
Intern Tyler
 
(Photo Courtesy: Flickr.com)
 


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08/20/2014 5:20PM
OPP: Leaving My Husband
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08/20/2014 10:28PM
Battered women doesn't just mean physically beaten.
The only difference between physical abuse and mental abuse is that one leaves outside visible proof where as mental abuse can't always be proven but is just as or more so painful and debilitating. I only heard the first caller and that woman needs to get EDUCATED!! How sick is it that she thinks those kids should be around a man like that!! I grew up in similar conditions that Julia's children are now facing....it didn't turn out well. I left my parent's home at 18 and moved in with another controlling man who convinced me that we should move to a secluded mountain property. Once there i wasn't allowed to make friends. Family wasn't allowed to visit. He worked me like an underpaid employee building a house and moved all of our money into an account that i didn't have access to. I'm thankfull that we didn't have children, it was hard enough what i did for me when i left. I left after 3 years and was so afraid like Julia because I didn't think i had enough skills to survive on my own....That's what they want us to think....That's why we use the term controlling! But you know what I did it!!! To Julia: i know you're feeling desperate but can you wait until his next trip to get things in place to secure your future? And does he always travel on weekends for work??? I think you should talk to a lawyer before you make any decisions. a lot of lawyers will do a free consultation..take advantage of this.. it could mean all the difference between legal child support and you running from the law. My best wishes for you in your time of need....don't give up and don't give in. Wether you're physically or mentally (verbally) abused it does the same kind of damage. It kills a person's spirit and that allows controlling people to take more and more and more till a breaking point is met.
08/21/2014 3:25PM
Emotional Abuse is Still Domestic Violence and qualifies
Julia, Since you are not the "bread winner", you have an advantage in the leaving and having services available. Please call IN CASA - (800) 332-7385 in Indianapolis and they can walk you through many of the options that would be available for you. Mental abuse is still considered as part of the domestic violence protection. I used to volunteer for another domestic violence shelter and MOST of our survivors started out with Mental Abuse that moved to physical. You can also call the Julian Center or Prevail and talk to them about options. There is a legal firm that works with all these centers to consult and provide help. You are DEFINITELY not alone and reaching out to these organizations that can help you put things in place will be your best bet. God Bless & God Speed, TD
08/21/2014 3:37PM
Julia and abusive relationship
Slacker & Steve - Seriously there are women out there that are still dumb enough to believe that a person should stay in a violent or abusive relationship because they took a vow to stand by their husband. Give me a break. Julia needs some help finding her way out of that relationship and never look back. No child should be witness to their father treating their mother like she doesn't have any right to be treated with the respect she deserves. The husband took vows as well. Please tell the idiot that was just on the radio she needs to get a grip on reality and that if she believes any person has the right to treat another human being the way Julia has been treated she needs serious mental help.
08/21/2014 4:57PM
The woman who called in support of the abusive husband is truly disturbed
Great that another woman thinks that since she took a vow, she needs to suck it up and allow her child to be raised watching her mothers identity and self esteem melt away. This woman needs to get a grip. Julia, please call an agency and start the process of getting out. There are several that will help you. I used to work with one that is now been rolled in to Prevail in Noblesville, but there are others like The Julian Center and INCASA.
08/25/2014 5:21PM
I have a truck
I guarantee that no one will really miss him. But really, you deserve so much better and you deserve someone who will treat you the way you deserve to treated. Run as fast as you can away for this one and reach out to anyone who will help you. Family or friends should always be there for you. If you feel unsafe while getting your belongings from your house, then you can get a police escort. Run girl, run! You deserve so much better!
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