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GMD: Pretty Daughter

Pete and Tanya are married. Tanya has an 11 year old daughter, from before they were married. Pete is basically Emma’s father and is worried that Tanya is allowing her to dress provocatively and gives her too much “leash”.  He says that Emma is pretty and if they don’t start sheltering her now, it will lead to much bigger problems down the road.  Tanya just wants her daughter to live a normal life and being pretty is part of it.
Slacker believes that Pete’s heart is in the right place, although both Slacker and Steve understand that ultimately it is Tanya’s decision. Slacker and Steve understand Pete and think that he is doing what is right, especially with the future in mind.

Whose side are you on?

Tanya’s concerns are valid, but being pretty and dressing older than your age shouldn’t make you popular, especially if she is generous and funny. Kids these days are growing up way too fast! I think Pete is right wanting to slow Emma’s roll, she is 11 and should be acting and behaving like an 11 year old, and not someone older

Intern Lauren

(photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net)

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People : PeteTanya

02/14/2013 4:44PM
GMD: Pretty Daughter
Please Enter Your Comments Below
02/14/2013 5:17PM
Mom of beauty
This is not about clothes... It's all about self worth. Of the Daughter.... AND the mom.
02/16/2013 8:33AM
Pretty daughter
I have a lot of thoughts on this, all negative. First I want to clarify about the stepdad. He is in no way creepy. He is trying to point out the obvious - that at the root of his fears for her are that he is aware that she is attractive. That does NOT mean the same thing as "he is attracted to her". I applaud his commitment to being a good parent. I don't know a lot of stepdads who are this involved and genuinely care about their step children. "That's what all my friends are wearing" is an old, tired cop out since the beginning of time. And that's what all her friends are telling THEIR parents. Parents buy into this because they want their kids to fit in.They also don't want to say no - we get them what they want because we want them to "like" us. Because we maybe want to give them the things we didn't have as kids, or two career parents with not as much time with their kids as they would like and getting them what they want balances the unwarranted guilt. So their friends dump her becase she is not wearing the same clothes? Is that a potential scenario? Then they really aren't her friends. And she could learn to stand up for herself by saying "I have stricter parents". And it will be said as a complaint about how I hate my parents, but they will find something ot hate about you you soon, anyway, in their teens. So it might as well be about helping make better choices about how they present themselves. 11 years old looking like 14, probably attracting 16 and 17 year olds is scary. She has not evolved enough to have the maturity to understand the potential ramifications of that. Blind trust. They are vulnerable and likely to follow along. 16 year old boys with hormones ablaze and ability to manipulate. Scary. Pedophiles. There are so many now. I will leave this at that one statement. Obejctifying our girls at an early age. Revealing clothing at 11, a little makeup when you're not looking. Magazines and other media always making a big deal about looks and encouraging a poor body image. Making looks and the "right" clothes the meaning of life .Drilling into girls that their appearance is their selling point. It's hard out there. BUT you can control this. You are the one taking her shopping. You are the one with control over the credit card. COMPROMISE is always a good choice. (The skirt is too short) - I will let you have this skirt but with leggings or tights. (The shirt is cut too low) buy her a couple of colorful high-cut tank tops or sports bras to go underneath. Whatever tools you can think of to encourage her to make better choices. She is go0ing to be out of your control soon enough. Control, and especially role-model right now while she is still listening.
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